Life has thrown some curveballs recently. A serious one came when a close family member was badly injured in a car accident in early last month—just as I was finding my rhythm again from the previous month’s upheaval. That’s how life is, right?

Thankfully my loved one is on the mend, but moments like this are powerful reminders of what’s truly important—and of how the choices we make can either support or drain us, both in the short and long term.

We celebrate independence.

We’re taught to strive for it. To hold our own. To not be a burden. To prove—quietly or loudly—that we can do it all without needing anything from anyone.

And many of us are really, really good at it.

We manage the logistics, the emotions, the work, the care. We pride ourselves on being strong, self-reliant, capable.

Why Fawning Isn’t Kindness—It’s a Survival Strategy.

We often think of people-pleasing as a harmless quirk—a sign of kindness.

Being easygoing, flexible, helpful, accommodating.

But for many of us—especially those who grew up in environments where love or connection felt conditional—people-pleasing isn’t a personality trait.
It’s a nervous system response and it’s how we survived.

There’s a line in The Art of Possibility that always makes me smile (and exhale):

“Don’t take yourself so goddamn seriously.”

I used to joke that I had Serious Disease. Not that I had a serious disease, but the habit of taking life—and myself—a little too seriously.

So when I came across Rule #6 in Rosamund and Benjamin Zander’s book, I laughed out loud. It gave me a fresh,