The Wisdom of Yes & the Power of No

Life has thrown some curveballs recently. A serious one came when a close family member was badly injured in a car accident in early last month—just as I was finding my rhythm again from the previous month’s upheaval. That’s how life is, right?

Thankfully my loved one is on the mend, but moments like this are powerful reminders of what’s truly important—and of how the choices we make can either support or drain us, both in the short and long term.

I spent three weeks in hospital rooms and skilled nursing facilities as an advocate. This isn’t my first rodeo, and people often tell me that because I notice what others miss, recognize patterns quickly, and trust my intuition, I “should” do this work professionally. This gift was in full expression as I kept pointing out a particular pattern—same time, same symptoms—that no one else seemed to catch. After three days of me speaking up, the medical team finally began to listen and discovered additional complications that needed attention.

So when I hear, “you should do this advocacy work as a career,” I respond: I’m grateful I could serve you in this way and support you through such a challenging transition. And then I explain that while I don’t do this in hospital rooms for strangers, I absolutely use these same gifts with my clients—meeting them where they are, connecting dots most people can’t see, and walking beside them as they move through transitions. This is what lights me up and why I do the work I do. This is who I really am.

Reflecting on this experience reminded me of something I often share with clients: when to say yes and when to say no.

Have you ever played with this practice?

When someone asks for your time, money, energy, or space, pause before responding. If you were my client, I’d suggest you at least “sleep on it” before deciding.

Ask yourself: How does this feel in my body? Does it light me up? Create excitement? Spark creativity or energy? Those are usually signs to say “yes”.

And when to say no? If it feels like a “should,” triggers guilt, or stems from obligation. If it drains your energy or feels heavy in your body, your inner wisdom is nudging you toward “no”.

It sounds simple, so why do we often say yes when we want to say no—or no when we want to say yes? The reasons are many: our people-pleaser kicks in, our inner helper wants to do it all even when we’re exhausted, or we long for connection but know deep down this isn’t the right kind.

At the heart of it, though, we’re not honoring our truth. And if this resonates, please know there’s nothing wrong with you. Nothing to fix. This is simply part of being human.

When you practice this, the confirmation that you made the right choice usually feels like calm, relief, space—like a literal or metaphorical exhale. You notice how freeing it is to release the thing that drags you down and instead choose something that lights you up.

As we step into a fresh new fall season, I invite you to ask: What am I ready to say yes to? And what am I willing to release with a no, so I can choose more of what energizes and inspires me—and less of what drains or misaligns me?

Because when we give ourselves the gift of aligned yeses, we live more fully in our truth. We relax into who we really are. And from that place, we feel pretty good—because we’ve chosen to be ourselves.